Laundry Day

                                                              Laundry Day 

Step.1- Wake up, preferably the night before you where drinking heavily, the day after is always perfect for laundry.

2. Smell every piece of clothing on your floor and rate it on a 1-10 scale. In my case anything over a 2 is going to the laundry bag. Some people like to let a little more musk linger. I prefer the smell of a fresh mountain breeze on all my clothes.

3. Pack your laundry bag. Put on your basketball shorts and that shirt from a middle school fundraiser or the shirt that says #1 Grandma that you bought at a gas station once as a joke. Or some metal band t-shirt from high school. Or whatever shirt is left in your closet thats not dirty.

4.Rip the couch apart looking for quarters and empty the jar of change in your kitchen. Not enough quarters. Why are pennies always sticky?

5. Go to the laundry matt, there will never be anyone working there, and there will always be a spanish lady with six kids there.This is normal. Find a machine that doesn't look to much that someone tried to rip it apart with a crowbar.

6. Never trust the change machines there if you don't have to. Always go next door to  the deli/Bodega get a drink and a bacon egg and cheese sandwich because you where drinking the night before, so this is good remedy. Get change there.

7. Throw laundry in machine, add Soap and toppings and spit in there so noone wants your clothes after you put your spit on them.

8. Sit and try to read your book. You get about 15 minutes in. Good Job!

9. All of a sudden get sad for 20 minutes.

10. Switch clothes to dryer

11. Walk around the block while you wait for it to dry. Call lost long family members and friends.

12. Sit in the matt, next to the dryer waiting for the last minutes. Ease drop other conversations.

13. Dryer is broken, clothes are still not dry, put more quarters in the machine. Curse under breathe.

14. Time to fold the clothes.( The worst part) Try to make a game out of it as you do it to make it go by, pretend you work at the gap and tell the lady next to you that theres a sale on Dockers today. She looks confused. Put head down and finish folding in silence.

15. Go home. forget a sock